Uganda’s Museveni turns to sex in battle against corruption.

He may be demonized, admonished and condemned for failing to fight corruption but at this point, President Museveni cannot be accused of not trying hard enough. For, on a typical Kampala Friday evening of last week, when various students and Ugandan party animals were gearing up for their usual rounds of merry making, the good old President stood at the UMA Show grounds and urged students to desist from sex.

Like the famous scares he alarmed in the 90s to rally support for the then lonely fight against HIV/AIDs, the president shamed men by calling them “researchers who want to experiment on students’ bodies.” Trust me, any average student who takes time to relate their sexual encounters to the President’s analogy should at least shudder at the idea of making out with any “researcher” ever again.

But your writer thinks it’s not just a sexual morality fight the president is on to.

The President knows that sex feeds into the corruption fire as much as greed does. He knows that his public servants and other government officials steal money to buy monster cars to impress ladies at University Campuses, the most popular spot being Mary Stuart Hall at Makerere University. These thieving officials also have to buy impressive cars for their “campusers” as they are famously, or rather infamously known in Uganda.

These students (read research samples) also tend to look at Lady Gaga and Paris Hilton and feel they want to live and be like them. So, the thieving officials have such an insatiable appetite to satisfy. From expensive cars, houses, clothes to admissions to exclusive bars and leisure sports full with expensive wines and cocktails, Museveni’s thieving officials have to pay for it all. Something a regular official can’t sustain with their meager salaries.

A few years back, one University student, one Nakku became a nation-wide sensation thanks to her love affair with the then Vice President and a Professor of Medicine Gilbert Balibaseka Bukenya. A few years on, he was charged for “stealing” money during preparations for the 2007 Common Wealth Heads of Government Meeting in Kampala. The case was later dropped, not because he was innocent but there weren’t sufficient evidence pin him.

A successful man in his own right prior to joining govt, Prof. Bukenya could not have diverted such stinking amounts from the public purse to enrich himself with more property and perhaps, hotels(he owns a couple of them), it may have been to feed into the Nakku-ville.

Ask any average youth around Kampala and they will have no kind words of Museveni’s thieving officials in regards to spending. They are blamed for driving both prices and standards up high. They cause inflation in such a way that a student who dined at the Revolving Restaurant at Golf Course Hotel the previous night, was dropped to her classy apartment in more or less a limo – would have no business dealing with a typical fellow student who Shs30,000 pocket money accounts for his/“her” entire financial portfolio today.

So, when President Museveni urges students to deny you “researchers” any opportunity to “experiment” on them, he knows what deprivation is capable of. He is placing his bet on the idea that his thieving officials, when denied sex, will lack incentive to steal public funds. That way, he will have hit the proverbial two birds with one stone – achieve sexual morality, kill occupation and as an extra, education standards will be enhanced as students are less distracted by researchers. If I was Guvnor, Club Rouge, Amnysia , Boda Boda, Pa Lui, Mish Mash, The Junction and the likes, I would start scouting for other business opportunities. Museveni is on to you. But, Good Luck Mr. President. You will need it.

 

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